Friday, May 10, 2013

Bargain Boxes and the Citadel Troll

I was rummaging around my parents attic and found this little jem.  Yes its just an empty box.  But what caught my attention was prophetic yet ironic allegory on the back.

I picked up three or four of these boxes probably no later then 1990' so at the time the miniatures contained therein would not have been more then a few years old.  But I believe the little back story can be appreciated more so by today's collector.



In case you had trouble reading the fine yellow on read text:


As far as the eye could see, stretched dune-like landscape of 25mm figures. Something shifted. An arm appeared above the sea of metal, green and scabrous. Then a foot. Finally a head. At last, a severely bruised Citadel Troll pulled itself free.

‘Cor’,’ it mused, scratching one of its heads, ‘what `it me?’ It looked around cautiously.
Figures,’ said one head to the other. ‘ `Undreds and undreds of `em.’ It scooped up a handful and let them run through its fingers like sand.’

`Old, too’, said the other. ‘Rare. Be worth a fortune these days. Don’t make ‘em like this no more.’ Both heads nodded sagely….

`’Ere,’ said the first head. ‘Worth a fortune, eh? If nobody knows they’re `ere…’
`Only, them what’s under `em,’ put in the second head.
`Then maybe we could….’
‘You mean just us?’

‘Well, they do need shiftin’, an’ no mistake.’  Suddenly, the dark dungeon was flooded with a harsh multicoloured light.
The troll cowered in terror against one wall. ‘Cripse!’ said both heads, almost simultaneously. ‘It’s `im!’
 `So this is where the timewarp hit,’ said a harsh, echoing voice. ‘You!’ –the troll cringed- ‘Break out some Bargain Boxes and get this lot shifted!’

‘Well,’ said the one head as the troll began to shovel the ancient figures into boxes. ‘Just goes to show what a good idea it was if  `e `ad it at the same time.’ The other head glowered.
‘Shaddap an’ keep shovellin’,’ it snapped.




Oh what I would give to be a two headed troll buried in lead!